First, before I get on my pedestal for the month, I have to convey my sincere apologies to my regular readers for my recent hiatus. You may well remember that this time last year I spent a month in India having some surgeries; well, with nine months to allow myself to heal, I have just spent the last two months away having some more work done.
Transitioning with Sugar – Going Stealth and being outed, by Ms Sugar Swan. When asked why I waited until my mid-30s to transition I tell people a myriad of lies; “It wasn’t the right time”, “I couldn’t afford it”, “I wanted to get X, Y and Z out-of-the-way first”.
Sugar, still in the midst of surgical recovery, asks, is it all worth it? As I sit at my desk on a hot mid-June’s day, already five days behind deadline (oops, sorry ed and design), feeling somewhat overwhelmed with my scar management and post-operative care, I’ve spent the last week plagued by writer’s block.
The Munchkins, a good witch, a wicked witch, and ruby slippers. A yellow brick road, a paradise, an all-seeing entity that can grant us that which we are lacking. We all know the story, we can all relate. As a lifelong ‘friend of Dorothy’ I have always felt close to this story, and in this month’s ‘Bears’ edition of Gscene, its narrative is one that mirrors many aspects of LGBTQ subculture.
Ms Sugar Swan looks at drug use and asks if trans people are overlooked as an at-risk group within the LGBT+ communities. PARTY drugs are a problem, they always have been, and whilst I think some members of our umbrella communities are well looked after and catered to when it comes to party drugs and picking up the pieces when things go wrong, I fear that, as with many things in the community, trans people are often overlooked.
This month’s Gscene theme is community and having lived, worked and volunteered within the local queer community for the last 17 years I have very mixed feelings about the community and what it means to me.
This year has been one of the toughest of my life, and I’m no stranger to tough years. December marks the first year of being without the best and most consistent person I’ve been lucky enough to have had in my life, having lost them after 17 years together. Next month also marks the 20th anniversary of my first partner’s death so I’ve found it particularly hard to write a positive ‘end of year’ piece.
I’ve been HIV+ for the majority of my adult life. I was diagnosed in my early 20s shortly after the death of my mother. I didn’t take her death very well and ran away to Europe for three months where I undertook some risky sexual practice as I was in a dark depression. Most traumatically I was gang raped by four men who took it in turns to rape me multiple times which left me not only with mental scars, but physically torn.
As Eartha Kitt sang during the disco revival of her career in the 1984 title track, ‘I love men, what can I do? I love men, they’re no good for you’. Never have song lyrics felt more relatable right now. Pre-transition I was never the ‘gay man’ that I was often perceived as and regular readers of this page will know that I have identified as bisexual since my earliest sexual experiences.
Last month I wrote about my Pride experiences over the last 20 years and how I never quite felt like I fitted in. I was always troubled with poor trans representation. I surmised by hoping that trans folk, and the less represented minorities of the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, would be better respected and represented at these events. Brighton Pride 2017 confirmed my worst fears about the current state of the Pride celebration.
