At the very start of transition I felt that I was forced to perform femininity to be taken seriously as a woman. I felt that I had to wear feminine coded clothes, wigs and a lot of make up, more make up than any one woman should wear, before I was able to leave the house. Should I not wear prosthetic breasts, tuck my genitals and ‘make the effort’ to look as feminine as possible then I would be gendered as male?
The Munchkins, a good witch, a wicked witch, and ruby slippers. A yellow brick road, a paradise, an all-seeing entity that can grant us that which we are lacking. We all know the story, we can all relate. As a lifelong ‘friend of Dorothy’ I have always felt close to this story, and in this month’s ‘Bears’ edition of Gscene, its narrative is one that mirrors many aspects of LGBTQ subculture.
I’ve been HIV+ for the majority of my adult life. I was diagnosed in my early 20s shortly after the death of my mother. I didn’t take her death very well and ran away to Europe for three months where I undertook some risky sexual practice as I was in a dark depression. Most traumatically I was gang raped by four men who took it in turns to rape me multiple times which left me not only with mental scars, but physically torn.
My first experience of a Pride event was back in 1997, some 20 years ago. A fresh-faced 16-year-old kid, who knew she was trans but only in her wildest dreams did she think she could transition, made her way to Clapham Common for Pride London. I was absolutely terrified as I made my way there with my cis girlfriend. She was the first person who I confided in who understood my gender feelings. Following a string of disastrous teenage relationships with men, she was my first real partner.
Latvia, a country neighbouring Russia, regained independence from the Soviet Union in 1992 and decriminalised homosexuality soon after, however, general social opinion has not moved on much since then. In 2005, Riga, the capital city, held its first Pride but unfortunately counter protesters greatly outnumbered Pride attendees and in 2006 Riga Pride was banned by the authorities. Regardless, Pride took place again in 2007 and the 500 Pride-goers outnumbered the 100 counter protesters. However, simultaneous anti-Pride events elsewhere in the city attracted thousands of protesters.
