Growing up, I didn’t have any gay icons to look to because I didn’t come out until I was in my early 30s. I’d been part of an evangelical church since I was 17, so being gay was not an acceptable thing. I battled inwardly with it until I finally got out of the church and woke up to myself. If I wasn’t allowed to be gay whilst I was part of that wondrous institution, then anything associated with gayness was packed full of guilt and feelings that I’d let God and the world down. So, acknowledging anything vaguely gay was a no no.
It’s true that I loved pop music from a young age and found the seminal works of Bucks Fizz to be of particular gloriousness. I taught myself the dance routine to My Camera Never Lies (still know it) and threw myself around my bedroom to lots of their other classics. So, do they count as gay icons to me? No, not really, because they weren’t around when I finally accepted my sexuality and moved into the World of Gay. For others they may be though.
Same goes for Kylie. I can appreciate her icon status now but growing up she stood more for her music to me than anything else. Do I now live my life based on her teachings and her example? Well, no… but Dancing was a good tune wasn’t it?
Who else did I look to whilst growing up? Victoria Wood (Someone had just poked an éclair through the curtains); Pet Shop Boys (you never phoned when you said you would); and Mike Oldfield (carried away by a moonlight shadow). I liked their output… but are they iconic? Possibly not, to me.
So, when I came out and started poking around the gay universe, who did I look to for a role model or a guide? Um, no one really! Have I got these icons around me now to mould and shape me? Again, I’d have to say ‘no’… There’s gay folks I follow on Twitter and Instagram and the usual social doobries, some of them because I like their music or their acting, some because I think they’re quite hot, some because they have iconic status in the gay community and I feel like I should be following them. I don’t quite know why I do this if I’m not that bothered with them.
I guess we all have our own levels of what role models we have. One chap I do follow is Keegan Hirst, the Rugby League player. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a big fan of Rugby League. Keegan doesn’t play for Wigan Warriors who are my team, but I’ll let him off that. He travels the country talking about mental health and getting in tune with your own ups and downs. He’s down to earth, practical in his advice, a gay man doing his thing and helping out others on the way.
Isn’t that iconic? Don’t ya think?
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