Words by Mike Edward
Growing up, HIV was an incredibly fearful subject for young gay men like me. It was portrayed as something that no-one could deal with, and something you should be incredibly scared of at all times.
HIV was a terrifying unknown. I was told to avoid contracting the virus at all costs and yet completely lacked any education about HIV. Rather than being given the facts about HIV, and how to have sex safely as a young queer man, I was just told to “be careful”.
The fearmongering I experienced in school, and from my friends and family shaped how I felt about HIV and my sexuality. I think if I’d have been given the facts, including that people can live a long and fulfilling life with the virus, I would have had an easier time coming to terms with my queerness.
“It’s crucial to know that anyone who is diagnosed with HIV in the UK can access free treatment and support.”
When I had my first HIV test, I received excellent support from a sexual health nurse who took the fear and stigma out of testing completely. The experience helped me understand how important it is for all of us to take ownership of our sexual health, and that taking control of it can be empowering.
My views on HIV transformed when I ran in the Brighton Marathon in support of Terrence Higgins Trust in 2018. I ran alongside people who were open about their HIV status – they were happy, healthy and not just living, but thriving with HIV. This narrative completely clashed with everything I’d been told about HIV and helped me to realise that the rumours I’d heard about the virus growing up just weren’t true.
I’m still shocked when I meet new gay men and other members of the queer community how little people know about the importance of testing. Many haven’t had a test in a very long time – or ever. I find that many people’s reluctance to test often comes from anxiety about the result. But I can say from experience that it’s always better to know. Fears about HIV testing will not get better through avoidance, they will only get worse.
“The fearmongering I experienced in school, and from my friends and family shaped how I felt about HIV and my sexuality.”
Most people will get a negative result but whatever happens it’s crucial to know that anyone who is diagnosed with HIV in the UK can access free treatment and support. If you test positive, effective treatment means you cannot pass on the virus to sexual partners and can expect to live a normal lifespan.
Regular HIV testing benefits each and every one of us. I’m currently in a happy, long-term open relationship and that has really heightened my sense of responsibility not just to myself, but to my partner. Sexual health is an opportunity for us both to take control of our sexuality and keep each other healthy.
Order your free HIV test
Testing for HIV is now quick and easy. You can do it at home by ordering a free test kit now from startswithme.org.uk which will be posted through your door in plain packaging.
If you have any questions, you can contact Terrence Higgins Trust in confidence via 0808 802 1221 or tht.org.uk/thtdirect.