PrEP is a pill taken by HIV negative people that protects you against HIV. It has been a life-changer for me because it gives me confidence and lets me just enjoy sex.
It’s important that we take our sexual health seriously. Not everyone feels like this though. Especially in the Black queer community, it seems that some are too scared to come into the light and have worries around staying anonymous.
The reasons for this can be complicated, but some men I’ve spoken to on dating apps are not ‘out’ and are nervous that it could somehow come back to their friends or family.
I was recently talking to a guy on an app who was extremely anxious about protecting his identity. As a result, all his body pics have the head cut off and his face pictures are sent as ‘disappearing’ head shots.
“As Black queer men, we need to take control of our sexual health by getting on PrEP and testing regularly.”
This is in case, somehow, someone may find out that he has been using a gay app. He even messaged me on a burner phone.
When I mentioned PrEP, he told me it wasn’t for him. He still lives at home and was worried that the hospital or clinic might send correspondence using his house phone or by letter and that his parents would see it.
I tried to assure him that, in the years I have been taking PrEP, clinicians are always extremely discreet and only contact people via text message – unless directed otherwise. In fact, if you are concerned about being ‘outed’, they can take any steps required to protect your anonymity.
But he was too scared. This is something I battle with on a daily basis when speaking to Black men on dating or hook-up apps.
Unfortunately, Black gay and bisexual men in the UK are disproportionately more likely to be diagnosed with HIV than white men. Something needs to change and I want to do whatever I can to help. That’s why I’m sharing my story.
As Black queer men, we need to take control of our sexual health by getting on PrEP and testing regularly.
It’s so much safer to take care of your sexual health, than completely ignore it.
