A father has been praised after revealing on Reddit that he threatened to divorce his wife after she recommended “conversion therapy” for their gay son.
The 45-year-old dad, who said his 16-year-old son came out as gay around a year ago, confessed that he found it difficult to accept at first but said his love for his children was most important, and that all he wants for them is to be happy.
The dad wrote: “So, this is a pretty heavy situation, and I’m really confused and disgusted ‘cause I never thought my wife was like this. My wife (44F) and I (45M) have been married for 14 years.
“We have two kids – a 16-year-old son (let’s call him Noah) and a 12-year-old daughter. We’ve had our fair share of disagreements over the years, but things have generally been smooth between us.”
The dad went on to explain how his son came out around a year ago, which was a surprise to both parents. “It was a surprise, and as hard as it was to accept, I love my kids more than anything and just want their happiness,” he explained.
Meanwhile, his wife “visibly didn’t take it well”.. He said: “She was upset and seemed to go through a grieving period where she didn’t really talk about it.
“I tried to support Noah in every way I could, telling him that I loved him no matter what. My wife, though… I could tell she wasn’t on the same page.”
While the dad offered as much as he could to reassure his boy of their bond, the wife would say “this is just a phase” or “he needs help”. Originally, the dad thought she just needed time and brushed it off.
But the issue came to a head a few weeks ago while the parents were discussing plans for their son’s future. He explained: “Out of nowhere, my wife casually mentions that she’s been looking into conversion therapy camps and thinks it might be the right solution.
“She said that Noah isn’t truly gay, that he just ‘hasn’t been shown the right path’ and that this could ‘fix him.’ My blood ran cold, I was in shock. I immediately told her I didn’t agree and that this was not something I could support.”
The wife then became upset, accusing her partner of enabling the boy’s “confusion”, claiming that “if I really cared about him, I would help him”.
He said: “She was persistent, and no matter how much I tried to explain that conversion therapy is harmful … and that I would never send our son to something like that, she wouldn’t back down.
“If I’m being 100% honest I don’t even think I love her anymore. The fact she could be so heartless disgusts me. I know being gay is not easy and people like her just make it even harder. I’m considering staying, only for our daughter’s sake but would it be ok if it means hurting my son? it feels like a betrayal to Noah. I just don’t think I can keep living with someone who thinks this is okay.”
In the comments section, Reddit users rallied around the father to show the overwhelming support for him.
One wrote: “Noah is not broken, there is nothing to fix. Those conversion camps are hell on earth and any parent who wants to send their child to one doesn’t deserve to be a parent.
“Buckle up – your fight for your children’s rights and wellbeing is just beginning.”
Another chimed in, saying: “I would actually talk to a divorce lawyer and tell them you fear your wife doing this and ask how you can protect your kids. Play nice for now and then drop the hammer. NTA not one bit, you keep protecting your kids.”
According to the British Psychological Society (BPS), conversion therapy – sometimes called “reparative therapy” or “gay cure therapy” – tries to change someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
In practice, it means trying to stop or suppress someone from being gay, or from identifying as a different gender to their sex recorded at birth.
It can include talking therapies and prayer, but more extreme forms can include exorcism, physical violence and food deprivation.
The BPS and other professional bodies, including NHS England and the Royal College of Psychiatrists, have warned that all types of conversion therapy are “unethical and potentially harmful”.
The Labour government has said it will introduce a Conversion Practices Bill, to ban practices aimed at changing or suppressing someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation in England and Wales.
It says the bill will not stop professionals offering support to those exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity, or those providing medical care and support.
Once a draft bill is published, it will undergo consultation before a full bill is formally introduced to Parliament.