15.58pm Friday 10 April 2020
The home front personal situation is easing up a little with a smattering of good news trickling through the grimness. I have had my high chair delivered. This is used when at the sink or the worktop preparing food. It is to take the pressure off the back whilst standing and bending over for a long time. I think I should have said leaning over in that last sentence. Also I have had detailed plans for my new kitchen delivered online. They look good. The gas appliances will be replaced by electric. I have not cooked on electric since the mid 60’s so that should be a good learning experience.
The gas has got to go because I am forever forgetting to turn it off fully. I had a mad gas engineer who looked like a ghost buster ring the door bell and dash past me into the flat waving his rubber hose and assorted meters around. Shouting for me to open all the windows in the flat. I had a gas leak. ‘Oh no I do not.’
‘Oh yes you do.’ He was right and I was wrong. My tap had not been turned off fully. The whole flat was reeking and I could not smell it. This incident led me to once more haranguing the council to give me a new kitchen. I had been promised one five years ago but they arbitrarily decided not to allow it, until these dangerous incidents. There have been more than one, I have to confess. I’m paranoid every time I cook now. I go around testing each knob to see if it is off. Another dubious sentence. So good news on the interior front.
As regards to other issues I have had the merest glimmer of hope there too. Sat up in bed with a cuppa at 10am this morning I decided to call the doctors office to see if anyone was there. This was the fourth day of trying. Bingo! The receptionist answered listened to me and said the doctor would call me back. He did half an hour later and after listening to my story agreed I am a vulnerable person. I do need to go onto the Govs Vulnerable persons list. Hopefully. Hopefully to get a delivery slot from Waitrose. I do not want a free food package. I can pay for my food. I want to pay for my food. All I want is a delivery slot so I can order and pay for my food. There are some incredibly vulnerable people out there. These are the ones who should be receiving the free food parcels. Sadly they are the ones who will probably miss out because of the Govs monumentally labyrinthine web page.
It is highly likely that a fair proportion of them do not have access to a computer so will not be aware of the site in the first place. I was put onto it by someone on Facebook. Thank you that someone. Another local person also suggested the B&H council web pages. Thank you as well. Logging on is simple enough on the Govs page. But from there on in, it is a design nightmare to find exactly what it is that you are looking for. Particularly if you are elderly like me and not in the loop with computer-speak. Visually the page is badly designed, poor fonts are the first things you notice. Drab screen colouring does not help in the least. The section for Corona virus related subjects is hidden along with driving licences and the bins, amongst other topics. Instead of being prominent, highlighted and easily accessible at the top of the first page.
This by the way is almost duplicated once you manage to get onto the local B&H site. I lost my way and patience from the off. On both sites. It took me nearly 3 days to negotiate around so many twists, turns and blind alleys. I’m not stupid. I have been using a computer for over 12 years now. If I find their ‘Helpful’ web pages confusing then how must it be for those less able? They are overcomplicated, asking unnecessary information in many cases and designed for themselves, not those they seek to reach out too. A computer geeks wank. These pages should be road tested and adjusted to suit the needs of everyone long before they are posted online.
They should be fun to use. A joy to log onto. A place of welcome for the unsure and hesitant client. These pages do nothing to help in times of crisis when people need to be calmed down and not sent spinning off into areas they do not want. I want help and information. If I wanted to enter the caves of the Minotaur I would have called upon my friend Theseus and we would have gone in for a shag, not to find information about registering as a vulnerable, elderly gentleman.
This whole rigmarole has to be endured so I can then spend 4 days trying to get hold of my doctor to inform him I have just signed up on the Govs web page. He in turn can inform the NHS of my status so they can send me a letter confirming my status. Will this get me my delivery slot at Waitrose? I doubt I’ll be able to answer that question for at least a week. I should be so lucky. If only. I bet it is more like two or three weeks by which time I’ll have to send various friends out, off in search of food for me. Bless their lovely hearts. They have got their own problems without having to look after me. My need of their help should be on an emergency basis only. That is what it would be if I were allowed to go into a shop. But I cannot go into shop. I am not allowed to go into a shop because I am classed as a vulnerable old git. If you so much as sneeze on me then its body bag time. Or so the scare stories go Still, I have last nights cauliflower cheese to look forward too. Perhaps a hot X bun to follow. Then as the sun sets a very large GnT. No more fights with bureaucracy until Tuesday. Ah Bliss!
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