Trans Bear Diaries: Calling My Deadname Home
by Avi Ben-Zeev
Review Eric Page
Avi Ben-Zeev’s Trans Bear Diaries: Calling My Deadname Home is a striking memoir that journeys beyond the boundaries of traditional gender narratives. Rather than recounting a linear transition, Ben-Zeev tackles the complex and painful task of reconciling his present self with the echoes of his past. His “deadname,” Talia, refuses to be forgotten, and in this memoir, Ben-Zeev embraces her as part of the man he’s becoming, capturing an authenticity that’s both raw and profoundly moving.
Structured into three powerful episodes—early transition, later transition, and Talia’s story—the memoir explores the intensity and the vulnerability that comes with becoming one’s true self. From growing up in a conservative, working-class Israeli family, facing poor academic prospects, to defying expectations by obtaining a PhD from Yale, Ben-Zeev’s narrative unfolds with clarity and resilience. His journey is as much about external accomplishments as it is about the inner work of self-acceptance, and his transformation is told with brutal honesty, humor, and compassion.
Ben-Zeev’s narrative dives into issues that resonate beyond gender, swirling around class, politics, and identity. His experiences, including pro-Palestinian activism and faking mental illness to escape compulsory military service, showcase the resilience needed to navigate social and political landscapes that often feel hostile to one’s very existence. Through his story, Ben-Zeev interrogates complex cultural and gender norms and offers a fresh perspective on what it means to navigate these realms as a trans man in an evolving world.
At its core, Trans Bear Diaries is a meditation on what it means to “come home” to oneself. Rather than rejecting or severing ties with his past, Ben-Zeev brings Talia into his story, bridging her memories and struggles with his current identity. This process of integration speaks to the universal journey of self-discovery and acceptance, reminding readers that sometimes true wholeness comes from embracing, rather than erasing, all facets of our identity.
Avi Ben-Zeev’s memoir is a powerful testament to the strength it takes to integrate our past into our present and build a future that honors the fullness of who we are. His journey reminds us that to fully embody our truth, we must first make peace with every chapter of our story—even the ones we may wish to leave behind.
Out 14th Nov £9.99 Paperback
For more info or to order see the publisher’s website here
Through blending the live music and the personal stories of teachers, students, and activists, the piece explores how this repressive legislation silenced a generation and fuelled LGBTQ+ resistance. From the generated moral panic that drove the law’s creation to its eventual repeal, the show offers a clear-eyed look at the political tactics used to enact anti-LGBTQ+ policies, the manipulation of political attitudes, plain ugly religious prejudice and manufactured ‘normal family’ panic which closed down early attempts at inclusion and respect for LGBTQ lives and fuelled our community’s inspiring fight for equality.
The musical’s original live score, composed and orchestrated by 
I left feeling thrilled by this production, warts and all, reminding us of a period in our very recent history which was horrific for LGBTQ+ communities to live through and the awesome power of direct action, planned organizational and emphatic community response to attack. The show finishes with a clear call out of our current ‘Trans Panic’, which is an ugly echo of the divisive ‘culture war’ drive behind Section 28. The elements that contribute to fear are deconstructed and revealed in this work. While it makes the clear point that we are currently facing a comparable moral panic towards transgender individuals, it starkly demonstrates how unaware some of us are to the reassembly of these building blocks.
The supporting cast shines just as brightly, with Pugsley the talking pug and the demon Courtney providing both comic relief and surprising depth. The evolution of Courtney’s character, offers a poignant exploration of redemption and the power of love to transcend boundaries – both dimensional and personal.
The plot is a wild ride that manages to tie up loose ends from previous volumes while introducing new twists and turns that keep readers on the edge of their seats. The stakes are higher than ever, but Steele never loses sight of the character development that has made the series so beloved. Each challenge our heroes face serves to deepen our understanding of their motivations and strengthen their bonds with one another. I loved the wonderful deftness of the final denouement and how it rippled back through the series trying everything up.
DeadEndia Volume 3: Divine Order is more than just a fantastic graphic novel – it’s a cultural touchstone that pushes the boundaries of queer representation in media. Steele has created a work that will undoubtedly inspire a new generation of LGBTQ+ artists and storytellers to share their own unique voices with the world.
Flett’s prose is lyrical and evocative, capturing the essence of the carnival and its inhabitants with a poet’s touch. Linking in ancient wrongs and the idea of generational guilt, of communities having to atone for the crimes of forbearers and how spirits cry out for justice and vengeance. The book’s pacing is controlled, building tension and suspense as the story unfolds, leading to a crepuscular brutal climax that is as inevitable as it is surprising. The resolution ties together the various narrative threads in satisfying and thought-provoking ways.
The play opens with the enigmatic Richard Hannay, portrayed with a masterful blend of gravitas and wit. The faux tension is palpable, drawing the audience into a web of intrigue reminiscent of the original Hitchcockian atmosphere. The seamless integration of comedy sets this production apart. The cast’s comedic timing is impeccable, each line delivered with precision, each gesture calculated to elicit laughter without ever undermining the suspense. Supported by the ingenious use of staging. The four actors, in a dazzling display of versatility, play more than 100 characters in total and manipulate the space with such creativity that the fourth wall seems to dissolve before our eyes. This playful engagement with theatrical conventions transforms the stage into a dynamic landscape, drawing the audience into the heart of the action. The staging is a warm parody, a knowing nod to the artifice of theatre that both celebrates and subverts traditional norms.
This production revels in its own theatricality, evident in the delightful array of accents and costumes. The cast navigates a cornucopia of regional dialects with a finesse that brings to mind the comedic charm of “Allo Allo.” Each accent is a delight, adding layers of humor and character that enrich the narrative. The costumes capturing the essence of each character with a flair that supports the play’s quality while allowing the actors to indulge in moments of delightful absurdity. These elements work in concert to create an atmosphere of playful sophistication, where the audience is invited to share in the joke.
Patrick Barlow’s adaptation of “The 39 Steps” effortlessly combines the elements of suspense and comedy with aplomb. The script is a testament to his skill, maintaining the core tensions of Hitchcock’s original while injecting a buoyant sense of fun. The pacing is brisk, the transitions seamless, and the dialogue sharp, creating a tapestry of intrigue and humor that is compelling.
This production of “The 39 Steps” is a triumph of theatrical ingenuity. It captures the essence of Hitchcock’s suspenseful thriller while infusing it with a comedic charm that is both refreshing and irresistible. The cast’s performances are spectacular, the staging is innovative, and the use of lighting and sound is atmospheric and evocative.
You must be logged in to post a comment.