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Author: Craig Hanlon-Smith

Poppers and Viagra together – Why it may be time to think again

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Following recent medical reports, urgent research is underway to further explore a potentially dangerous consequence of poppers and Viagra when used together.

INITIAL concerns suggest that in some users, the combination may be fatal.

Poppers and Viagra

The use of Viagra and poppers is not uncommon amongst the gay communities, often along with alcohol and recreational drugs. The most common side effect reported amongst combination users is a strong headache, but often dizziness, sickness, and even a temporary loss of consciousness known as syncope.

However, it is a serious and sudden drop in blood pressure that is causing the most concern as this can prove to be fatal.

Party and Play

The reason people use both of these things together is so they can sustain a sexual encounter for longer while also using the effects of poppers to facilitate this play. While it may be fun there are risks and these risks are certainly something to be aware of and take seriously.

Poppers – Facts

– Poppers are normally sold in small bottles. The volatile liquid inside evaporates to produce a vapour that can be inhaled.

– Poppers can be called a range of things including Amyl Nitrate, Butyl Nitrite, and Liquid Gold. They can be found on sale in a range of shops but normally sex shops and so-called “head shops” often associated with smoking paraphernalia

– Historically poppers were used to treat angina in the mid to late 1800s. They were used as a room odourisor and were never intended to be inhaled directly.

– Inhaling poppers can give a range of effects including a head rush as well as relaxation of both vaginal and anal sphincter muscles

Viagra – Facts

– The active chemical in Viagra is called Sildenafil. Viagra is simply the brand name.

– The original development involved trying to find a treatment for cardiovascular diseases and not erectile dysfunction.

– Viagra has been taken by over 40 million men globally and this number continues to rise!

– Viagra is commonly copied, the market is flooded with fake Viagra many of which either don’t work or can have harmful ingredients

Viagra and Poppers Health Risks

This is the second serious health risk now linked to the use of poppers, following the identification of poppers maculopathy which affects the eyes.

In 2006 one of the key ingredients of poppers, isobutyl nitrite was reclassified as a cancer-causing drug and replaced with isopropyl nitrite. It is this substituted ingredient that is thought to be linked to poppers maculopathy although it is not yet known what is the cause of these newly recorded symptoms.

Poppers use alone reduces blood pressure and increases the heart-rate, and recorded common side effects of Viagra include headaches and blurred or impaired vision. Over 1% of the UK’s population state that they have used poppers in the past twelve months, making it the UK’s fourth most popular recreational drug.

Both Viagra and Poppers can cause blood pressure to drop and it is this combination that can prove fatal.

Poppers and Viagra Important Information

Generally, it is recommended to avoid any recreational drugs.

– It is highly advisable not to take Viagra and Poppers with 24 hours of each other. outside of this window, the risk for a fatal blood pressure drop is greatly reduced.

– Avoid taking both if you have any kind of heart condition. If you do have a heart condition consult a doctor before considering Viagra on its own.

– Poppers just so happen to be very flammable so keep them away from any naked flames.

Research Into Health Effects

As part of their research, Pharmacists, Assured Pharmacy has created a survey (this survey is now complete  – edit April 2021)

Survey results can be seen here

Results from the survey will be used to determine how little is known about the issue and if there is a particular demographic that requires a more urgent focus.

FEATURE: My so-called chemsex life or when I met Jack, Seb and James

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

Craig Hanlon-Smith talks with three men about their chemsex experiences.

I HAD originally tried to write this piece 18 months ago, but rather than an unsophisticated or educated guess along the theme of what has come to be known as ‘chemsex’, I wanted to hear real and current stories from those who were actually engaged, in some way, with this lifestyle and recreational practice.

I had of course read other articles and at various theatrical fringe festivals seen many (largely dreadful) plays on the subject, but I wanted to hear the facts firsthand and fresh. So, I took to the most notable [dating] apps and websites, openly declaring my intentions. No-one wanted to talk. The online profile I posted included my face, my writer’s interest in the subject, and a promise of anonymity for anyone who wanted to talk.

I received a limited number of responses, but these were either suggestions that I f-off and get a real job, learn to enjoy myself more (what?) and a handful inviting me to join them for some sexual activity which requires no further description here, but trust me, they were not vague about their tastes. However, when it came to research for this article, no takers. Not one. Almost a year later, and thanks in part to twitter, I spoke to Jack (mid 40s), Seb (mid 30s) and James (mid 20s).

Before we hear from them directly, I’d like to thank all three for sharing their experiences, and for being so candid and honest. I also want to be clear, which makes sense to me if not necessarily to anyone else, that I really liked them and am pleased I had the opportunity to talk to them. So, without prejudice, judgement, comment or analysis; ChemSex by those who do or certainly have. Jack, Seb and James.

James: aged 25, from the Brighton area
“I’m not really a regular on the gay scene in Brighton, certainly not weekly. Possibly once a month and occasionally I meet people [for sex] in person, but it’s usually on the apps, Grindr mostly. The interest in taking drugs during and for sex actually came from meeting people on Grindr, although I don’t remember the first time I had sex with ‘chems’ – it was a few years ago now. I reckon I have sex with people on chems once sometimes twice a month, there are usually a few people involved, on average around five, sometimes people I already know but often online meets. I prefer sex with ‘chems’ than without, I feel that there’s more of a buzz that way. Most of the guys I have sex with are older than me but that’s the age range I’d go for anyway and that’s nothing to do with the drugs. My regular drugs are G and Tina, although M-cat and coke do make an appearance and as a result these parties can last between three and four days, although recently more like one or two. I work shifts across the week and usually find that whatever the day or time there are people around. I’ve slammed (injected) but that’s not a regular thing for me. 

“Bareback sex is my preferred type of sex, it’s just my preference.” 

At this point I ask if James is concerned about HIV or other STIs.

“There’s always that thought in your head but that’s my decision and I get checked out regularly. One of the reasons I go for older guys is that younger guys appear to be more cautious and their preference would be safer sex – older guys are more interested in bareback. This is also a sober decision, it’s how I want sex and it’s my choice. Chemsex is just part of how things are… I know myself and I’ll know when to stop.” 

Seb: aged 34, from London
“I should say that I no longer take part [in chemsex], about eight months ago was probably the last time and that was a one-off. It started as a cheaper alternative to booze. It used to be that you could buy Mephedrone (M-Cat) for £20 and it was absolutely not associated with sex – bags of Mephedrone would come out at your friends and a bag would last a few days. At some point the formula changed and then so did its use. It went from being a more more more drug to becoming less potent overnight. The problem with that is that the only comparable drug in terms of the high and horniness it gave you is Tina. I absolutely wasn’t interested in Tina until Mephedrone changed. M-Cat was cheap and nasty but you wouldn’t crave it, it gave you the high when you wanted it, and you wanted more as you took it, but when you stop you don’t crave it. The drug use can escalate quickly and you take the drugs on Friday night and you’re still awake on Monday morning. 

“It’s difficult to judge or build ‘normal’ relationships when you’re doing those drugs. I can remember lots of occasions being at a friend’s house waiting for the dealer to arrive, there’s a delay and another delay and whilst waiting we have nothing to say to one another other than getting frustrated at the dealer, but we couldn’t talk like adults. One of these friends I met at a chillout, then became really good friends outside the druggy circle, but ultimately we did fall out over drugs. That neither of us was particularly upset about the friendship dissipating is an indication of what kind of relationship it was.

“I have to say though, since stopping the drugs, my sex life has dropped off the earth – which is actually a bigger struggle than giving up drugs. I’d say that since my chemsex experiences, normalising sex is difficult. I became HIV positive during that time. I passed out at a party after someone put G in my drink, although I was aware that I’d unprotected sex sometimes. I had a f**k buddy I trusted and we were both negative and I felt the sex was better [unprotected] and so when I was partying, I started taking risks. I can think of times when I bare-backed more.

“Back then I was in a job that I hated and for a time my professional life wasn’t making sense to me. The chemsex gave me escape. Then I changed my job, the salary doubled, my responsibilities were different. When my life got better – the drugs went. I’d say that for most people engaging in chemsex, there’s usually something going on causing them to do it. Trying to escape and forget something. When all that gets better, the drugs go away.”

Jack: aged 46, from the Midlands
“My drug use started when my relationship ended. He was the love of my life, say no more. I was living alone, no friends, and I just ran into a time of confusing intimacy and making friends with having sex. Someone offered me a line of something and I hit the ‘f***-it’ button and thought OMG this is amazing. What no-one tells you is that the problem with drugs is that they do work. It was terrible combination for me though; dealing with an HIV positive and personality disorder diagnosis quickly led to self-loathing, abandonment and depression. Mix drugs into all that and… well. 

“Predominantly the drug was M-Cat. I didn’t like what I saw of Tina, people who took it quickly turned into twats. On the occasions when I did take it, I become suicidal later. On reflection, the escalation is frightening. Taking one line per night becomes one every couple of hours, one chill session becomes every other week then every week. Sniffing becomes slamming, then one night becomes three days and one gram lasting three weeks becomes five grams a week. You are out of it, it’s fake, it’s chemically induced – once you are out of the door you are blocked on the apps: ‘let’s be bro-friends’ whilst you’re taking drugs and having sex and then you’re just deleted. 

“I used to think: ‘I’m middle class, I’m educated, I’ll never become addicted’, but all you need for addiction is a human being with a problem and a slight wobble, then a drug. I felt that what I was doing was wrong – there’s always a little voice reminding you: this isn’t what I want to be. I eventually lost everything. Someone dobbed me in to work, sent information, images, the lot, and I lost the job. I took part in the chemsex more than 50 miles away to avoid anyone finding out, deliberately, but still.” 

Although I asked, James elected not to tell me the nature of his employment.

“I’m now off all of the apps, they over promise and under deliver. What delivers is the drug. I’ve now changed that from M-Cat, which is psychotropic, to coke. I don’t do it with anyone else, I do it on my own, every so often for a few hours. That may sound sad, but I feel no sexual desire whatsoever without it. It’s sad, isn’t it? 

“This can happen to anyone. I’m university trained, I have a degree from Oxford, and a degree from Durham, and yet now I’m working part time in a minimum wage job because it’s all I can cope with. And you know? No one wants to talk about it, I think because it shames them. I’ve tried, but barely go on any form of social media for that reason. These are not real conversations. This is my story and I’m not saying it’s everyone’s. Some can survive, but some lives go down the tubes.”

A Cuckoo In The Nest!

What is cuckooing?
Cuckooing is where criminal gangs target vulnerable people in their homes to deal drugs from there. The person is intimidated with threats of violence and bullying or enticed through the offer of drugs. The person being cuckooed often won’t want to raise concerns for fear of repercussions or violence. Victims of cuckooing can disengage with support groups or services and be unwilling to talk about what is happening at their home when the subject is raised with them.

Signs to look out for:
More visitors to the property than usual, often visiting for short periods of time, new associates hanging around, bags of clothes, bedding or other unusual signs that people may be staying there, lots of vehicles outside for short times, including taxis, discarded syringes, foil or other evidence of drug use, more local anti-social behaviour than normal, including lots of stolen bikes.

What to do:
If you’re worried that someone is being cuckooed, contact Sussex Police by emailing: 101@sussex.pnn.police.uk with an email title OPERATION CUCKOO, providing as much detail as possible or for further advice ring the Safer Communities Team on 01273 292735 or community support from the LGBT CSF on 01273 855620.

Check Mate: Chess @The Coliseum, London

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

THE history of the stage musical Chess is as chequered as its current set design at London’s Coliseum. A successful stint in the West End from 1986 to 1989 was long overshadowed by a Broadway disastrous run of two months following vast rewrites as US producers insisted that the American must beat the Russian at the end of Act One, and not as the story originally dictated.

But Chess is back. Both on Broadway later this year following a successful run at the Kennedy Center Washington DC, and now after a West End pause of almost thirty years, at the home of the ENO.

This is the fourth spring production in collaboration with ENO by Michael Linnit and Michael Grade but like Sunset Boulevard before it, do not be fooled by any press releases describing this outing as ‘semi-staged’. In the hands of director Laurence Connor and choreographer Stephen Mear, it feels as anything but. This production of Chess is an event, but one with both a dynamic and emotional punch.

The story is as convoluted and concentration demanding as ever. Deep breath; Two chess masters both representing opposing superpowers at the height of the cold war come together on the world stage not once but twice and both have a romantic entanglement with the same woman, against a backdrop of political posturing, reappearing abandoned wife and child, threatening heavies, corporate sponsorship and the rise of mass media interest in such matters. Got it? In truth, with recent world events the story has never felt more relevant, and who knew that an American character written in 1984 and given the surname Trumper (I know) would come to represent so much.

But what captivates here is a score that soars. In Chess there is no ‘big song moment’ that we spend ninety minutes twiddling our thumbs waiting for, there are at least twelve and each as mighty as one another. But of course, with ABBA’s Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus at the helm what would you expect. If ABBA really did abandon work on their tenth studio album in 1982, it would appear that most of the expected tunes have quite possibly ended up here.

Imagine a musical stuffed with the likes of SOS, The Winner Takes It All, Knowing Me Knowing You, Voulez Vous,  ok, ok not that one, but the individual songs and structure of the overall score here is magnificent. Let us not forget the lyrical influence of Sir Tim Rice through such highlights as Where I Want To Be, Nobody’s Side, Someone Else’s Story, Heaven Help My Heart, I Know Him So Well, The Soviet Machine and Anthem. Every one a corker.

Michael Ball who plays the Russian chess master Anatoly is a powerhouse and delivers a masterclass in singing every time he opens his mouth. His closing of Act One with the appropriately titled Anthem, is worth the extortionate ticket price alone, but it’s not all his show.

Tim Howar as Freddy Trumper and Cassidy Janson as the east-west torn love interest Florence Vassy are both magnificent, each commanding the stage during their multiple scene stealing epic moments. Janson’s Nobody’s Side lifting the roof off The Coliseum and many a middle-aged homosexual’s bottom off his seat.

However, revelation of the month goes to Alexandra Burke. I for one had thought quietly to myself “if she Hallelujah’s the hell outta this I’m leaving at the interval” but she delivers a performance as the abandoned wife and mother Svetlana threatened by the Russian state that is understated, wounded but quietly resolute. She makes Someone Else’s Story originally written in for the ill-fated Broadway production, entirely her own and delivers a three-minute masterclass in musical theatre perfection.

The English National Opera’s award-winning orchestra and chorus conducted by John Rigby are flawless and help cement this musical into one of the greats. Of course there will be coach-trips of pink sequined stetsons bemoaning on twitter that “it ain’t Mamma Mia” . No. And I would want to take nothing away from that particular show which has sold tickets by the warehouse load, but then so have Big Macs. If it’s fine dining you’re after, this is it.

Chess has a limited run at The Coliseum London, until June 2. This is the fourth production in collaboration with ENO by Michael Linnit and Michael Grade.

OPINION: Craig’s Thoughts – why are we so nasty to each other?

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

We’re happy for you. When you’re ‘masc’. Or come on in. It’s oh so shallow by Craig Hanlon-Smith @craigscontinuum

Russell Tovey announces his marriage and receives almost no Tom Daley-style vitriol from the gay community. It couldn’t be because we would all serious make a play for his rugby playing beau Steve Brockman, could it?

And so another openly gay celebrity has announced an impending nuptial to their current beau. In late February, Russell Tovey revealed plans to marry his boyfriend, Steve Brockman. The established gay press were all over it in no time, celebrating Mr Tovey’s engagement and referring to his partner, Brockman, as ‘his rugby playing boyfriend’. Social media went nuts and people were initially lovely. Too many to quote directly here but genuinely pleased hoards of gays and Tovey fans celebrating their love and future commitment. Hurrah.

Of course, as the day progressed, perhaps only a few moments as real life minutes equate to social media months, a few messages delved their toes into cheekier and slightly suggestive waters, and then some were downright horny. Openly describing where exactly they’d like to sit in a Tovey/Brockman ‘sandwich’ which is a polite homosexual word for ‘hot sweaty f**k orgy’. The rampantly determined did not hold back and despite not actually having an invitation to interject into the forthcoming marriage, this did not appear to bother most. And I’m assuming from the messages that I read, the grandmothers of these young men are not following them on Twitter, or perhaps they are and I’m just an old-fashioned girl.

Of course, only a few days earlier, yet more gay celebs had revealed their latest relationship developments and posted a picture of their unborn child courtesy of a surrogate mother, only the reaction both online and in the press had been a little different. This. perhaps, should not have been a surprise, as so it had been the case when Mr Tom Daley and his husband Dustin Lance Black first announced their intention to marry earlier last year.

Now, when the Daily Mail plays its expected nasty card following the announcement of Daley and Black’s impending delivery, no one is surprised. Just as the algorithmic Facebook feeds us the nonsense it knows we like from taking part in those online quizzes, the Daily Mail has a responsibility to its heartless readers. And as they’re all gleefully planting tiny union jacks into their crumbling sandcastles, Richard Littlejohn hangs the gays out upon the battlements. The Daily Mail has a fanbase and they want to hear all the hits, and encouraging homophobic vitriol is their multi-million best seller. Bring it on Littlejohn, we expect it. What I wasn’t prepared for, was the gay male twitterati joining in.

And so I asked the question: Why? Why from (some) gay men, such unpleasantness and use of violent language towards other gay men, celebrating their life together, marriage and now expected first child? I received many, many responses: ‘Oh we’re tired of them. They’re over exposed’; ‘If you put yourself out there you should expect it’; ‘They’re smug’; ‘The old one (he’s 43) has been in porn and lied about it’; ‘Daley sends nudes to other men’. The last one is borderline ridiculous as half of Brighton is up to that after a couple of shandies of a Tuesday, but I’m not sure I see any of them as a reasonable justification for vicious name calling that resembles bullying and intimidation, albeit from the safety of a smartphone. But there we have the uncomfortable explanation for it. Bullying and intimidation.

It’s common behavioural understanding that the bullied become the bullies and much of the gay male community is likely to have experienced bullying in some form and in many cases throughout their lives. The bullying domino effect is a spiral of catastrophic but almost inevitable behaviour, and our ability to make ourselves feel better about our perceived weaknesses by screaming obscenities at others is both a horrific and highly ineffective human recovery action. In short; clever boy for being nasty with your smartphone but you won’t feel better in the long run. It is, however, likely that the truth is much more complex and perhaps uglier than that.

The response to Russell Tovey’s engagement announcement was mainly positive and sexually suggestive so why such a disparity between types of gays? Could it be that Tovey’s rugby playing boyfriend persona, however distant and unobtainable, plays into our masculine ideal of how we would ourselves like to be received, perceived and desired?

Tom Daley is (perhaps, and I’m not endorsing such a view) an irritatingly hairless camp queen and his screenwriting boyfriend all velvet tuxedos and artistic flair – we actively seek to distance ourselves from this type of homo. And the morning after this year’s Oscar ceremony, US Winter Olympian Adam Rippon, slated on social media for his harness/tuxedo look by hoards of gay men. His supposed brothers. Rippon has done more for gay male visibility in six weeks than most can achieve in a lifetime, but perhaps competitive figure skating just isn’t tough enough to satisfy our masculine ideals.

I get it. Diving, screenwriting and skating in sequins is hardly muddy jock straps in the changing rooms. Steve Brockman is more likely to come straight off the sports field all over-developed thighs and bounding testosterone and feeds into a perception of what we really want to be. The type of gay that does not appear to be gay at all.

Gay men of all ages… ask yourself; have you ever looked at another homosexual man and thought ‘gays like that give gays like me a bad name’? And then whatever the behaviours we observe in the appointed pariah, we seek to distance ourselves from as much as possible. That level of finger-pointing, name calling and social distancing is likely to come from a form of self-loathing that is rooted deeply in those years of aggression and hostility that we were ourselves in the firing line of.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

It’s without question desperately sad that when we perhaps needed it most, there was no one there to give us a hug and tell us that it would all be okay. But let’s not take any anger at our years of lost comforts on to the platforms of social media, and attack others for celebrating, and yes, showing off their flamboyant happiness. We may be tired of them, they may be over exposed, they may be smug, they may have had secret careers in pornography that they now deny, and they may, despite being married, be sending nudes to other men outside of their relationship. If you have something to say, say it. But make sure your own blotting paper is as clean as a whistle before you throw ink. And whatever you say, be nice. Be nice. It really is that simple.

OPINION: Craig’s Thoughts 

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Caught in the Act. Or the mirror has two faces by Craig Hanlon-Smith @craigscontinuum

Ann Widdecombe
Ann Widdecombe

In its infancy, Big Brother was billed as a social experiment, originally a fascinating and nation gripping revolution in reality television. Not entirely due to its shift onto the schedule of Richard Desmond’s Channel 5, in more recent years it has descended into a desperate opportunity to shock and outrage in increasing states of drunken undress. Big Brother contestants, and indeed winners, have in the past few series come and gone with the same attention given to yesterday’s chip wrapping paper and tomorrow’s chips. Even the celebrity edition, with the odd standout moment aside (“David’s dead!”), has struggled to make much of an impact in our popular culture psyche. Viewing figures have struggled for air between one and two million viewers depending on the night of the week and rumours of the executive axe have abounded for years. And whilst the viewing numbers have on average remained consistent if not exhilarating for the latest outing, the most recently broadcast series of Celebrity Big Brother (CBB) appeared to encourage a return to its experimental beginnings and held up an interesting social mirror to all of us. Although perhaps by accident rather than design, CBB also raised interesting questions of our own LGBT communities and a, perhaps, incorrectly assumed connection with our supposed brothers and sisters.

Shane Jenek and Courtney Act
Shane Jenek and Courtney Act

There was much debate on a variety of social media platforms of the battle between apparent good and evil in the finale showdown of former Conservative politician, Ann Widdecombe, and drag queen, Courtney Act (Shane Jenek). I myself may have tweeted something along the lines of seeing the CBB final vote as a Brexit re-run, and whilst I concede this notion to be verging on the totally ridiculous, what actually played out in that house over the last two weeks of the contest was much more serious.

This isn’t an opportunity to vent about bigotry, or to call Ann Widdecombe a range of unhelpful names. It’s also my own usual practice to hesitate in the casual overuse of the term homophobia when someone is simply being horrid or plainly mean. However, homophobia is a term totally apt when examining Ms Widdecombe’s behaviour in the CBB house; she appeared genuinely afeared. It’s not the intention to criticise Ann Widdecombe when I say that the slightest leaning towards any sexual debate or discussion caused an outward shudder of not simple disapproval, but internal trial and torment, she looked genuinely sick. This was ever more pronounced in the presence of the transgendered contestant India Willoughby. India made it openly clear that her own preferred gender description was that of woman, a concept Ms Widdecombe struggled to grasp and openly misgendered her housemate. Perhaps a simple and clumsy error to make when one is from another political and social generation entirely. And although she didn’t directly apologise, she did offer that she hadn’t intended any offence.

Her discomfort, though, grew in stature in the company of the male homosexual. She regularly covered her face in the vicinity of Courtney Act. Initially as Miss Act ‘suffered’ an apparently unexpected wardrobe malfunction, but as the series progressed, simply as Shane Jenek took a seat in the living area dressed in drag. Mr Jenek cast aside his civilian attire as Courtney Act typically made an appearance on eviction night episodes or for entertainment-related challenges, but in the last week took a decision one evening to ‘drag-up’, just because. Initially I sat amazed as Widdecombe appeared to physically recoil, then both cover and turn her face in what I initially assumed was disgust, but began to notice was a form of actual and real distress. Courtney Act, a man in drag, was a triple threat to Ann Widdecombe appearing to instil a fear that was all at once emotional, psychological and physical. It was as though watching in Widdecombe, the frightened victim of a bully; however, there was not a bully in the room except for, it could be argued, Miss Widdecombe herself. And there you have it; the fear, the homophobia and then the domineering almost bully-like responses that abound through the mouth of one we then call bigot – and many did through their social media feeds. It was a fascinating, illuminating and alarming watch through this revised social experiment of what I and many of you reading this will have experienced first-hand. That fear in Ann Widdecombe was real and Shane Jenek/Courtney Act only had to appear for the dragon of homophobia to come screeching out if its cave, breathing fire.

Courtney and Wayne Sleep
Courtney and Wayne Sleep

Of course, neither gay Shane nor Courtney were alone. There was a small community of homosexuals in the house. Wayne Sleep and Amanda Barrie spoke openly of their same-sex relationships and in Barrie’s case her Civil Partner. But Shane Jenek was very much in isolation as the contest began to heat up. An intelligent and willing participant in this experiment, at all times in his questioning of the homophobia he found himself living with, remained calm, reasonable, questioning, but polite. Who challenged his friends in the house when they used language he deemed confrontational and inappropriate, but who turned to the community members he hoped would understand. Amanda Barrie sided with her elder female compatriot, expressing anger at Jenek for his position and that she liked Ann Widdecombe “and I’m in a Civil Partnership”, a progressive legislative step Widdecombe opposed not only as an MP but often criticised whilst in the CBB house. Wayne Sleep, again openly gay on the TV show and camping it up at every wine-infused opportunity, refused to engage in any discussion with Jenek about a responsibility to the LGBT+ community and in fact seemed affronted that he might and both Barrie and Sleep nominated Jenek for eviction, for the stance he had taken. There seemed a gulf of belief between the three, which appeared to confuse them all. The elders not understanding why Jenek assumed a community relationship or connection along LGBT+ lines and Jenek genuinely surprised that they didn’t.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

Widdecombe didn’t win the popular televoting contest, but take no comfort from that. The LGBT+ online mafia were out in force in the run up to the live TV finale, I for one voted for Courtney Act/Shane J four times in a bid to sleep that night. In a real election, we have one crack at the prize and my lasting memory of this unsettling experiment will be of the housemates uniting behind Widdecombe on account of her elder stateswoman qualities and traditional values.

You think I’m being daft? Watch this space. You were warned.

Matthew Todd talks alcohol, drugs and the mental health crisis in the LGBT+ communities

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Matthew Todd has a long-standing association with Attitude magazine of over 20 years, most recently as editor.

Ahead of the paperback and audio release of his hugely successful book, Straight Jacket, Craig Hanlon-Smith caught up with the journalist, novelist, playwright and stand-up comedian, no less, to talk Attitude, career highlights and the mental health crisis amongst the LGBT population.

Crisis seems a strong descriptor, why do you think we’ve reached that point? 
“Because of the amount of people we’ve lost. I write about the short period of time where we lost a group of famous gay people to drugs or suicide including Alexander McQueen and my friend, the TV presenter Kristian Digby. Since then we’ve lost George Michael, the young bisexual American rapper Lil Peep and more recently Storm Chasers presenter, Joel Taylor, died from a ‘G’ overdose on a gay cruise.

“The amount of us who die through suicide or drugs overdose is astonishing and not just famous people. I regularly hear of friends of friends who are in serious trouble or hear that this or that person has passed away. Most of my long-term friends have seriously struggled. That doesn’t even take into account the other issues significant numbers of us have with self-esteem and self-worth and the numbers of us who seem to struggle finding or keeping serious relationships.” 

Matthew is keen to stress that he’s not being judgemental. “I include myself in that. This book is about my struggle as well. I hope people can relate to it because I’m talking about my own experience too. Of course there are more happy LGBT+ people than ever before but prejudice has taken its toll and there are too many of us not thriving as we should be. People seem to believe young people have it easy now but I don’t believe that’s the case. I met a young man last week who told me how he’s struggled to accept who he is, has issues with other gay men and so on. These issues are so common that I think we don’t see them; we just accept that’s the way we are. We can heal and it’s time for us to support one another to do that.”

But are these issues specifically gay ones? 
“When I first met my therapist (also gay), he said to me, ‘Of course you’re f***ed up, you’re gay,’ and it was like a lightbulb moment for me, a moment of relief. He then went on to say, ‘It’s not that you’re gay but because you’ve grown up in a society that has told you you are wrong at every turn.’ My play, Blowing Whistles, which we’re touring later this year, was a precursor to Straight Jacket. Something isn’t quite right with people, despite the advances we’ve made, a disproportionate number of people are simply not doing well.” 

Is now a particularly difficult or different time? 
“In a way. Kids coming out now are rejecting labels and not following the rules that we’ve set. It’s as though we don’t know what gayness means. There is a clear cultural language that we speak with similar experiences, yes, in terms of our film and music references, but in the past we’ve been on the attack because it was necessary but in some ways this needs to be re-examined. I also freely accept that this book is from a privileged position in the west, in particular the UK and US.” 

You’ve said you believe the mental health challenges LGBT people may face are connected to the levels of shame we experience when growing up. This year is the 30th anniversary of Section (Clause) 28. There hasn’t (to my knowledge) been much of a discussion of the long-term impact of Section 28 on people of our generation, and those younger who were in education during its 15-year tenure.

What role do you think it played in this sense of shame? 
“I think shame has always been there because society has told us being LGBT is shameful in itself. But I think that late 1980s period was particularly difficult. That’s the time I grew up in and it still affects me. It’s come up a lot in therapy. I was reading the tabloid press in those days and the homophobia was relentless. There’s a chapter in my book about it which seems to shock young people who had no idea how bad it was. For instance, one of the scores of homophobic cartoons in The Sun showed a man hanging his gay son with a noose from a street lamppost. There were messages in the press at that time of the emergence of HIV and AIDS and the hysteria that came with it, that we should literally kill ourselves. It doesn’t surprise me that lots of us are doing just that at a subconscious level with drugs and self-destructive behaviour because those messages went in.”

You describe yourself as a recovering alcoholic. When did you recognise that you had an issue that needed to be tackled?
“It’s weird to have that out there. Before I realised I had a problem with alcohol, I thought anyone who did was a lunatic who needed to be locked up. There are lots of people in recovery for drugs and alcohol issues, from doctors and nurses to lawyers and people driving buses. Famous people too, some of whom have been public about it; Elton John, Robbie Williams, Russell Brand, Boy George, Robert Downey Junior, John Grant (who wrote the foreword for my book), and many more. I realised eventually because a friend went into recovery and said he thought I had a problem too. I couldn’t see it. I didn’t drink in the morning or in parks on my own but I did drink most, if not every day. 

“I’d have one pint in the pub after work but would be there till closing time or find myself waking up with a stranger the next day. That happened a lot and it was getting in the way of my life. My rock bottom happened when I was late for a photo shoot with Daniel Radcliffe because I was hung-over. It all makes sense to me now because addictive behaviour like sex, booze, drugs etc are often a reaction to anxiety. I’m happy to be sober now as I have been for nearly four years. Life is much easier.”

How did you go about addressing it?
“I went into recovery in 12-step groups which are massively helpful and had therapy and started to change my life. Compulsive behaviour is never about the behaviour. So I wasn’t drinking just because I loved to but because I couldn’t bear the feelings of anxiety and self-hatred that were underneath. But I’ve had support to deal with those feelings. I’m not perfect now – we’re all a work in progress, right? – but I’m in a much better place than I was. It isn’t easy but it’s totally worth it. I never want to go back.”

The popular gay scene, especially but not exclusively in the UK, is very alcohol driven. How far do you think our cultural identity is embedded in an over consumption of alcohol and, of course, drug use?
“Absolutely. We’ve traditionally been only able to socialise and feel safe in bars and clubs. The gay scene was huge fun for me at times and life-saving in many ways. But I also wasted a lot of my 20s on it, trashed all the time, thinking my life only had meaning if people fancied me or wanted to sleep with me. When I see people posting selfies for ‘Likes’ I know that won’t make them happy. It makes you feel worse because it’s fleeting approval. It’s terrifying going to your first gay bar and so we get into the habit of getting drunk. Drinking can be great but it can easily overtake your life and it is a depressant in itself. If you’ve some self-esteem issues, drinking heavily is the last thing you should be doing.”

And sometimes the ‘gay-scene’ can be a challenging place?
“Exactly. In Straight Jacket I talk about our being unkind to each other. The scene isn’t always the friendliest place. We can be absolutely horrendous to one another and that’s one of the most painful parts of it all. We think we’re coming out onto a gay scene which will be supportive after we’ve gone through growing up in a heterosexual world and it can be fantastic but it can be unfriendly, shallow and alienating.” 

Of course young people, and in some cases all of us, now have the apps to navigate through, which is something we didn’t have to worry about in our 20s…
“The apps can be incredibly damaging. If we’re already feeling insecure and unattractive and there are people judging us on solely what we look like or we’re seeing that message that ‘if you’re not masculine enough, you’re not good enough’ over and over, then that can be really bad for our self-esteem. We’re meant to be a community and we can be really vicious to each other online including the racism that happens.”

Prior to the success of Straight Jacket, you were probably best known for your time as editor of Attitude magazine. What were your memorable highlights during that time?
“There were so many. It was an incredible ride. The best part was meeting all the everyday people who make a difference by campaigning or just being themselves – gay policemen, soldiers, teachers, parents and so on. It was also amazing to meet Prime Ministers and have a little influence on some of the agenda. I grew up obsessed with Madonna and got to sit down with her for an hour and 40 minutes on our own to interview her so that was amazing. Convincing Prince William to appear on the cover of a gay magazine for the first time was an incredible experience. Also co-creating the Attitude Awards and Attitude Pride Awards was rewarding because I think it’s positive for society to see a high profile event that celebrates our achievements similar to the GQ Awards. That would have been helpful to see when I was young.”

I’ve been a fan of Attitude and on a personal level it has played a significant role in my own development not only as a member of the LGBT community, but as a man. It was of great comfort to me 20+ years ago and for some years after – I learned a lot. Media publications, and how we access these, have changed enormously in the past five to 10 years. There sometimes seems to me to be a gulf between the intellectually demanding content of Attitude that’s in print and shared online, and the almost ‘locker room’ social media posts concerning the endowments of a certain Olympic diver or heterosexual reality TV contestant. How do you square that circle between Attitude playing an important cultural role and seemingly buying into the Grindr-esque Twitter posts? 

To what extent will a mainstream gay publication struggle to meet the needs of everyone it hopes to serve? Does or did that responsibility interrupt your sleep at night?!
“It totally interrupted my sleep. It was the most difficult thing; to try to make a magazine that was socially conscious but still sold copies and kept going. It’s probably a big part of why I left. Young people especially would write and tell me that the magazine was life-saving to them but others would complain about everything we did. 

“These are complicated questions, which I address in the book and could write a whole other book about. I’ve been part of the evolution of Attitude having joined in 1996. Back then it was meant to reflect the new confidence in the gay community and as a style and celebrity magazine that was different from the political magazines of the time. That appealed to me when I was 22, but as I got older I had some issues with that idea. By the time I became Editor I felt that the magazine should be more serious and political as well as being fun. I tried to do that whilst keeping that fun edge. 

“People like looking at sexy bodies. That’s human nature. We all do. So the Naked issues were the bestsellers. Harry Judd flew off the shelves. Often people complain about the sexy content but when gay magazines do something different the sales go down – the people who complain don’t support the covers, which are different. So we had David Cameron on the cover, grilling him, Stephen Fry, Attitude’s first out black gay man on the cover, the first lesbian, the first lesbian of colour, the first trans woman and so on. I don’t think we ever got much credit for that. I do think there’s a problem with the gay media being so flesh heavy but I genuinely think Attitude has been the best in that respect and we never got much credit for it. 

“I started this ‘Real Bodies’ feature inside showing normal guys, fat, thin, whatever talking about their bodies and no one ever seemed to notice. People also forget that most gay magazines operate on a fraction of the staff and budget that mainstream publications do, and they’re reliant on internet hits. They also miss the hard-hitting features we did like features on being gay and Muslim, the Chemsex issue which we led on, being gay in prison, cover interviews with Prime Ministers and politicians and so on. Someone complained about the current Body Issue of Attitude and said they’d much rather see a guy in his 80s, who was inside the magazine, on the cover than the sexy model. I would too but a commercial magazine that put people who weren’t famous or conventionally attractive on its covers wouldn’t survive. That’s the reality. I think people should support magazines like Attitude, especially when they do different covers that aren’t just shirtless men. Attitude only started because some guys decided to do it so I’d always recommend if people don’t like what they see, then to create something new themselves. I think that’s part of the message that change needs to happen – individually but also in the community and we can all be part of it.”

Straight Jacket by Matthew Todd is available in Paperback and from Audible from March 8.
@craigscontinuum

OPINION: ‘Craig’s Thoughts’ by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Child’s Play. Or the exhausted Funcle, by Craig Hanlon-Smith @craigscontinuum

Within almost a month of meeting my then boyfriend, now husband, he became an uncle for the first time. I remember receiving the text from him, which screamed in capital letters; I AM AN UNCLE. My automatic, and I concede extremely unattractive response, was one of searing jealousy. I had, until this moment in life, managed to avoid boyfriends worth any mention (because if you don’t ‘feel’ it why bother, right?) but this one was serious and I did not intend to compete for him with a frickin’ baby.

A few days later we both met baby Ryan. It was an intense affair as this was also the first time I had met the tiddler’s parents too – the boyfriend’s brother and long-term partner. This is where I should poetically write something beautiful about the joy of a baby child and the love that leapt from my chest, but I really didn’t feel anything then. Now, yes, but then no. He was just somebody else’s baby. And let’s be honest, except for immediate family (and I was the new boy remember), newborn babies are a bit rubbish – they don’t even do anything.

Time changes the cynic, I quickly became a member of the family establishment and as baby Ryan grew, we began to spend more and more time with him and he was a joy. The hilarity of his obsessive dancing to Kylie’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head and our marching him all the way home from Brighton seafront teaching him Beyoncé’s Crazy In Love – of course.

Our gratuitous present buying, which included an electric car we used to parade him up and down the seafront in. Filming his birthday present opening ceremony on behalf of the family and narrating to my future husband how awful most of the presents were compared to ours, not realising there was a built-in microphone in the camera which played back on the home-DVD. Rookie-Uncle error. There would be others.

Seventeen years later and baby Ryan has just passed his driving theory test and has graduated from an electric car to the real deal. What’s more, there are now a total of six offspring between our shared families, three from each end, four nephews, two nieces and every one has been a delight to have in our home.

Even when crayoning the table, pouring shower water through the ceiling and light fittings below, and my all time favourite (the individual shall remain nameless) when nearing the end of potty training and following my exact instruction to take the nappy off and have a proper pee, the little angel promptly weed against the wall and decorated my Laura Ashley wallpaper. You may think I had a hysterical gay moment at the time, but actually I laughed. He was, after all, just following an instruction. To the letter. Shame the little bugger’s never followed one since.

In our days of growing acceptance and familial integration, much is being made of the gay-Uncle or ‘Guncle’, and what is the Auntie equivalent? A ‘Guntie’ ? I prefer Funcle, which an acquaintance shared with me recently. But in reality, we’re just Aunts and Uncles who happen to be gay – is that really special?

It may have helped our brood of borrowed Von-Trapps that we do not have children of our own, so that when they visit, they are the absolute focus of our planned activities and consequently feel special. Each band of three has only ever had to compete with one another for our attention, not one another and another set to boot. It is also not every day, and so the visits are occasions and marked as such.

And so the Guncles make the effort to get up on Saturdays and Sundays at 05:30 for early morning baking, painting, and Twister sessions. (I’m being kind, one of us did, in fact we used to knead bread dough to the rhythm of Uncle Keith still snoring). To rotate the activities every 15 minutes so that the kiddiewiddiewinkies don’t bore easily. To quickly learn that anything brightly coloured and liquid in form should not go into the child’s digestive system after midday if anyone wants any sleep that weekend. To learn that you cannot go onto the pier with a budget, because if the tiddler sees it, it’s easier to just go with it and say yes. To kick yourself for not realising candyfloss has the same effect as brightly coloured liquid and you gave it to them at 4pm. To enthuse about terrible films and pretend how great they are so as not to bruise their enthusiasm (even if you hated Street Dance 4 – who knew there was a 1, 2 & 3?), to visit every play park within a three-mile radius of the house. To exhaust them with races, treks, games, camel rides (I am the camel), to wonder amidst the 30, now 40-something exhaustion, why they are never seemingly exhausted. As they grow, to rifle through their bags for missing hair-wax and mobile phone chargers but to love them when they convince you they had no idea how it got there. To race upstairs to the tantrumtastic five-year-old who has strewn your books and cosmetics across the room and when you ask what on earth is going on, not lose your head when he tells you it was a mouse. A mouse. A frickin’ mouse. And now to be slightly disappointed at the lie-ins they have inherited from my husband. Although coffee in silence – who knew it held such beauty. And to be secretly thrilled as you over hear one of them say to your brother: “You’re funny Dad, but Uncle Craig is funnier” BOOM!

And this is where I finish with another seemingly poetic moment about how the joy is all mine and I never want anything in return, I did it with love. Uh-uh. If anyone of those six reads this, let me tell you how this inheritance thing works. In the words of our lady Britney Spears: You better work b*tch. I changed your nappies for years and dealt with everything that went with it. Me. I did it. So in 40 years time, you’re changing mine kids. Twister. 05:30am. Just saying.

Time to Talk AND Change our mental health

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

It is now more than a year since local lads Davey Shields and Damian Friel started their MenTalkHealth (MTH) initiative.

Created to openly discuss mental health issues, initially on a series of podcasts, accompanied by a range of guests and their regular original team member Eli Beaton, their campaign has garnered much support from LGBT+ communities and local businesses.

Following a sizeable appearance in the Brighton Pride parade, Davey and friends have broadened their efforts beyond Brighton including articles in the national gay press and appearances on radio.

They have now teamed up with national mental health campaign Time to Change (TtC). I caught up with Davey to find out more about their progress this year and about the upcoming joint event with TtC at The Brighton Dome on Monday December 11.

Davey Shields
Davey Shields

Davey said: “MenTalkHealth may have started as a way to express myself and share what had driven me to my lowest point. No job, no money and no sense of self-worth at all. Whilst I had made my plan to end things, it seemed others had a different plan for me. I was encouraged to reach out and talk. For me the podcast was about trying to make something positive out of something hopeless and dark.

“I had no idea MTH would be adopted so intensely by the Brighton & Hove communities and beyond. We can forget how lucky we are in our LGBT+ bubble but as a collective community we also have a darker side. Higher rates of mental illness (than our heterosexual counterparts), issues with body image, addiction, fem shaming, transphobia and misogyny.

“With a National Health Service full of heroes, but struggling with limited resources, help is often given to those who have taken an extreme step (such as self harm or attempted suicide). The resources are not necessarily available to those who present as feeling suicidal or unwell. We reach out too late and it is up to us to support those around us before that point. Supporting ourselves and one another at this critical time is so important.

What MTH wants to do, is bring together all the varied LGBT+ communities to work closer to share their resources and experiences of mental health to fight the stigma around talking about our mental health.

The wonderful social movement ‘Time to Change’ can help us do that. This starts by local employers, organisations and individuals leading by example.

The TtC employer pledge enables employers to demonstrate a commitment to change how we think and act about mental health in the workplace and make sure that employees who are facing these problems feel supported.

There are already 500 employers nationally who have signed the pledge. Looking after the mental health of employees makes business sense: tackling stigma can make a real difference to sickness absence rates, presenteeism levels, staff wellbeing and productivity, and retention. Since signing the Employer Pledge, 95% of employers said it had a positive impact on their organisation.

The joint MTH and Time to Change discussion event, is open to local employers and individuals who want to share their experience of tackling, managing and experiencing issues around mental health.

It is being hosted by MTH and held in the Founders Room at The Brighton Dome on Monday December 11, from 11am until 3pm, and includes presentation talks by MTH creator Davey Shields, Director of Time to Change Sue Baker OBE, Author and Trans activist Juno Dawson and GScene columnist Craig Hanlon-Smith.

For further details, email: davey@mentalkhealth.uk

MTH and TtC would like local businesses and individuals to attend and to share their own experiences in discussion groups at the event.

To sign the Employers Pledge, click here:

MTH podcast Episode 10 is available NOW on SoundCloud, iTunes and all good podcast apps. Head to our website for links. @mentalkhealth

OPINION: Craig’s Thoughts 

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

A Christmas Tale or Baby Jesus Will Save Us (again) by Craig Hanlon-Smith @craigscontinuum.

And lo, as another seasonal winter of good cheer loomed ahead like a Nazarean census, Joseph and his Mary set out once more on their quest to deliver the son of God to save mankind. Salvation would come in the form of a donkey, a few worried sheep and ultimately by womb-dropping a baby into an unremarkable feeding trough, hidden in the corner of a derelict shed.

If that was the master plan, is it any wonder we’re all in the shit? However, it is not for us to argue on the origins of an internationally-renowned religion, and besides who doesn’t get their cockles warmed by the tale of Baby Jesus, or at least the John Lewis Christmas ad?

It had been a funny old year for our disillusioned yet once hopeful couple. Joseph, never the centre of the attention, was resigned to Mary’s so-called immaculate conception because although he had restrained himself nightly, it turns out every bugger in the Palace of Westminster or perhaps Hollywood had probably had a turn, and so Mary’s not being with child would have been the real Christmas miracle.

In order to protect Mary’s honour, they invented some shit about the angel of the Lord visiting in the dead of night, and as Catholic Priests with loose cassocks had been getting away with it in children’s homes for years, billions, yes billions, fell for it.

Mary might have told her story to a local media outlet, but in those days by the time the palava had been etched onto some ancient parchment, the populace had swiftly moved on, and were now more concerned with which remote island King Herod was shoving his stash of bitcoin. And so, our Mary’s needs once again pushed to the side, she accepted her lot, straddled the Christmas mule and set out upon the dusty road as per usual. The story was, after all, probably bollocks.

Their odyssey was no longer the smooth ride it had been in previous tellings of the Christmas story. Our heroes were both dark of skin, and the face of Joseph half disguised behind a heavy-set beard. And whilst facial hair would have made Joseph a real man and considerably more attractive to a wider range of homosexuals on Instagram, in reality it meant that stupid people could shout “Muslim Go Home” whilst frightening yet equally idiotic folk, with money and a shudder of global authority, could shove him in a detention centre whilst the local Judiciary argued the toss as to whether or not he should travel internationally ever again. “If only the world had a Baby Jesus to sort this mess out,” he thought to himself as he direct messaged a picture of his penis to 375 followers, only six of whom replied.

As Joseph and his Mary trekked through the land of Judea, they had a strange feeling that they might be heading in the wrong direction, as they met hoards of people leaving. This seemed strange to them as these were skilled house-builders, carpenters, inn-keepers and local health-care workers, but as our protagonists arrived in their homeland, all became clear.

The local officials were carving up great segments of the green and pleasant land, shovelling it into wheelbarrows or whatever the BC equivalent was, and hunkering down in lonely corners, barricaded into isolation behind great mounds of pointless earth, waving a crumpled disintegrating flag whilst whistling a discordant national anthem and dressed up in the faded costumes of Dad’s Army. And although some were convinced they were to make their tiny separatist corner of Christendom great again, Joseph and his Mary didn’t even bother attempting to book into a local hostelry, there was after all undoubtedly no room, and headed straight for the stable with the pigs and ducks.
Shepherds in the field, expecting a whole and holy host of angels to illuminate the night’s sky and proclaim the birth of the Christ child, were disappointed to be met with hundreds of headless chickens leaping from cloud to cloud whilst screaming, and yet saying, well, not very much at all.

Meanwhile, nestled amongst the piggies, Joseph and his Mary had finally given birth to their saviour and awaited the arrival of the wise men. They waited, and they waited, and still they waited but no wise men appeared. “Christ alive!” wailed an exasperated Mary, “I thought we’d find at least three wise men in the centre of the known world.” But what our protagonists would soon discover was that not only were their community leaders not wise, they actually appeared not to know what the f**k they were doing at all.

Even King Herod was not consistent with his  Christmas story duties. Oh he did threaten to kill all of the first-born within the Kingdom of Judea, and ‘to totally destroy Pyongyang’, although as most assumed this was bravado regarding an unpleasant sex act performed upon a Taiwanese prostitute, no-one took it seriously. Besides, he was too busy teeing off at hole number 12 to get his shit together.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

Had Jesus himself at this point not been such a baby, he may have led his own revolution, inspired a few million people to follow him, at least on twitter, or perhaps suggested a second referendum, but as recent elections had suggested that democracy was clearly a terrible idea and that the public should no longer be allowed near a polling station, no one really would have bought into that one.

And so Baby Jesus cried. And he cried. And he cried. For this time, even he could not save mankind. They would just have to get on with it, until the robots came.

OPINION: I am what I am

Posted on by Craig Hanlon-Smith

Craig Hanlon-Smith responds to the Facebook rant by Richard Wolstencroft, festival director of the Melbourne underground film festival following the positive vote for gay marriage in Australia.

I have taken my time to respond to the post above, because I wanted to research its authenticity myself before committing an opinion. The screenshot below was posted in Australia by Richard Wolstencroft, in response to the same-sex marriage vote.

He has since taken his post down, along with a later post correcting the misunderstanding of his original efforts. I do not believe I have misunderstood. Here goes.

Some, I know, would argue that to respond to this gives credit and audience, and that we should ignore such rants. I disagree. Whilst I believe his words to be inflammatory and deliberately provocative, I shall not rant although I am enraged. I also have a responsibility to speak out for my community when it is attacked. I also take my responsibilities to my husband and my gay friends too seriously to ignore it. What I also say now, is for my six nephews and nieces who will be exposed to such opinions and whilst growing and learning may sit quietly by not knowing if they could or should respond. You can, and you must.

Richard Wolstencroft is a film maker and festival director. He runs the Melbourne underground film festival in Australia. His post is well thought out, considered, perhaps hastily publicly shared and now deleted, but intelligent in his choice of words, arguments and social analysis. That is what makes it terrifying and ultimately dangerous.

I understand the concerns of the rise of what Mr. Wolstencroft calls the liberal elite, but the support of same-sex marriage should not be one of them. In short, he is wrong. Totally, completely and utterly wrong.

Giving someone the opportunity to marry, is neither degenerate nor decadent. It is after all an opportunity to legally recognise an existing or future relationship not an instruction or compulsion to throw an unaffordable party. To in any way criticise a community for being afforded the rights Mr. Wolstencroft has spent his life being entitled to, is at best petulant, at worst following in the political stumbles of a man called Donald. It is not the politics of the liberal elite we should fear now, they brought us to this point. What requires action are the toxic lies reported herein.

Neither the nation nor the family are under attack by the normalisation of so-called degenerates. Gay people are not degenerate because they are not sexually attracted to the opposite gender. They are also not normal, or perhaps more accurately ‘the norm’ although they have bought in to a normalisation of relationship recognition, if they want to. Some, as is true of the heterosexual community, will not bother. This issue is about choice and equality of opportunity.

This decision to allow same-sex marriage strengthens the family and therefore the nation. It also validates anyone feeling abnormal or on the edges of society, because of their orientation.

Mr. Wolstencroft’s reaction is that of a spoilt child who realises at his seventh birthday party that all the children will get cake, not just the little boy whose name adorns the iced top. Mr. Wolstencroft seems to hold an inconceivable desire to play out the role of Augustus Gloop, when it is Charlie Bucket who will inherit the factory. He may be intelligent, he may curate an edgy festival, he may be articulate and controversial. He is also, absolutely, a complete moron.

There is much to be offended by in Mr. Wolstencroft’s original post, including the idea that the gay community’s politics are being weaponised by globalists. Relationships are personal, formed from the perspective of individuals who come together to form partnerships. If gay people are empowered by equality, if their right to marry, not the actions, instills confidence in the previously maligned, then my heart sings for the future.

The gay people I know, are kind, warm, reflective, gregarious, intelligent, loving, amusing, thoughtful, patient, sharing, selfless, strong and determined. If these characteristics are to be embraced by the new world order, then I look forward to the future laid out for our children, my brother’s children and the children of the brother of my husband.

If these are the characteristics Mr. Wolstencroft states we should fight back against, then we must fight too. Fight with firm, confident and resolute determination that we are right to feel the way we do, and right to celebrate and publicly share our ability to love another human, irrespective of the formerly accepted norm.

And finally to the most offensive aspect of Mr. Wolstencroft’s post. “Homosexuality is often created through child abuse”. You are wrong. And it is this lie which confirms both your moronic status and your dangerous lie.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

I am a homosexual. I have not been abused as a child. Neither physically, emotionally nor sexually. I am gay because I am. It is because it is. My gay-ness is as much a product of the roll of the genetic dice as is my beard grows ginger. I don’t know where it came from, but I am pleased that it is there although not everyone will be. Child abuse is a criminal activity and devastating for its victims. Homosexuality is neither, nor are we victims. If any gay person has been a victim of abuse, your sexuality is unrelated. Horrible but unrelated. Believe it and don’t let the morons tell you otherwise.

You are also magnificent. It is this magnificence the likes of Mr. Wolstencroft fear. Magnificent and gay, gay magnificence. Fear us if you wish, but it is better to embrace us. For we are today and better still, we will be tomorrow.

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