Stanmer Park and House is a glorious destination on any day of the year but on a scorchingly hot Sunday morning with the Kite Festival just warming up and with breakfast and theatre on the menu it seemed an idyll.
The garden was already full of people topping up their tan at 10am and people letting their dogs cool off in the fountain as we wandered in to experience a BITE-SIZE BREAKFAST experience.
White Room Theatre’s BITE-SIZE BREAKFASTS have been making a name for themselves recently, winning awards both in Brighton and Edinburgh (the only places that matter of course!), and even getting their own slot on SkyArts, and I was here to see a preview show that’s about to be launched on the Scottish capital next month.
The ‘menu’ on offer consists of five or six short plays – from 5 to15 minutes long – by up and coming playwrights from this country and abroad, plus a light breakfast and all-round relaxed atmosphere. The plays are a mix of styles – comedy, monologue, two-handers, surreal, drama, parody – and are performed by a troupe of six actors.
A large platter of strawberries was proffered while we waited to be seated in the marquee, the true ‘bite-size breakfast’ of the title really, and a very healthy start to the day. This was followed by a cup of coffee and some Danish pastries, which rather cancelled out my strawberry health kick!
Settled in, host Sophie made us all feel welcome and fussed about us all having enough water as she didn’t want anyone dropping dead from the heat. Also offered was a free raffle ticket to win a pair of tickets to another of the Bite-Size shows.
The breakfasts alternate in content, as well as venue, and we were seeing Menu 3: Interpretations, although there are also ones called Two’s Company and, suitably, The Morning After. They’ve also just introduced a special kids menu called The Big Bite-Size Play Factory’s Family Creatures which they’re going to bring down south again after Edinburgh.
The short plays began with The Rehearsal, in which a bloke talks to his imaginary ex-girlfriend about just how great his life has become since leaving her (“I’ve been people-central lately”) until she turns up and he goes somewhat to pieces.
Using, perforce, a sparse set, the play worked in the intimate surrounds of the tent and it was a situation almost everyone had been in at one time or another so was a good choice to start the morning off.
The Interpreter told of a meeting between an American ambassador and a colonel from a tinpot republic, and how their female interpreter handled the tense situation. Badly, in a word. A swearing competition in their respective languages was pretty funny, and the pay-off good.
Up the Hilary Duff was the duffer of the lot. A monologue from a bleached blonde bimbo running an exercise class in how to have a baby and still look fab on the maternity ward was just too cringey. Channelling Sybil Fawlty, the actress struggled with her material and the laughs fell flat.
Next on was the star piece, Transactions, a fabulously twisty turny tale of what’s real and what’s fantasy and how one can morph into another. It was played very well in a makeshift bed by two actors transacting some home truths. This short play was worth the admission price on its own (even if they’d taken away the pastries!)
It was a pity this didn’t end the show and that Waiting for Hashim did, a tale of middle class traveller one-upmanship that was a little bit ‘one note’. But it did end in a fierce bitch-scrap which everyone always adores.
Bite-Size is a strange concept if you think about it for more than a second – very short plays in the morning over coffee and cakes – but it obviously fills a hole. I’m guessing that at most festivals the breakfast slot is the quietest and therefore there’s less competition for people’s time, and Bite-Size also do corporate gigs which I’m sure are perfect for getting a room full of execs revved up.
For the price – £12/£10 – you can’t really go wrong here. Venue, food, drink and theatre: that’s an excellent package, and the surprise factor of not knowing quite what the plays are going to be about is tremendously enjoyable.
You can experience a Bite-Size Breakfast next down at the Latest Music Bar in Manchester Street, Brighton on July 20 and then again at Stanmer House (this time inside in the Henry Pelham Suite) on July 27, with doors to both opening at 10am.
WHAT: Bite-Size Plays
WHERE: Latest Music Bar on July 20, Stanmer House on July 27
TICKETS: £12/£10
MORE INFO: http://www.bite-size.org.uk/
WOULD I SEE AGAIN: You bet!
STARS: Four