Go Back and Watch Growing Up Gay
Years and Years frontman Olly Alexander has sprung to even more queer fame with his starring role in Russell T Davies’ searing AIDS-era drama It’s A Sin, currently on Channel 4, but also worth a watch is Growing Up Gay – a documentary released in 2017 about his journey from school bullying victim to diversity role model.
Olly constantly has his heart not on his sleeve but on full display and there are times in this hour that he simply breaks down in front of the camera being reminded of his past traumas or seeing them replicated in other youngsters he meets.
A Dark Time
The film pulls no punches dealing with depression, anxiety, lack of self-worth, bulimia, self-harm, and thoughts of suicide. Having said that, Olly’s underlying positive and energetic personality shines through, and though his musical fame has given him a grounding, he admits that the problems he’s faced lie just below the surface and are not fully overcome.
The statistics behind every single troubled life are staggering – much higher levels of mental illness, drug issues, and self-harm among the young LGBTQ+ community. Poignant is the moment Olly re-reads his teenage daily diary: “ I will not eat cake, I will not eat cake… I will not throw up again”. It’s difficult to watch. And he is shocked to see how low he was. He tells us that at 16 he felt “ a freak…different: I just wished to be normal like everyone else “.
Olly Alexander’s Mum
There’s a full-on encounter with his wonderful mum Vicki Thornton, where he tells her the full extent of his depression and self-harm. Her reaction is to blame herself and wish she could have helped more. It’s a deeply personal moment, among many more in this film.
Self-Harm
He meets his life-long school friend Georgia and she too admits self-harming and depression – only just recently having come out. Olly recounts the school bullying – half of LGBTQ+ teenagers have been bullied at school. And he says how this bullying leads to a spiral of feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and a sense of unfairness. Two-thirds of LGBTQ+ teens will have self-harmed and many will have tried suicide.
He meets Sean, a dancer who is still dealing with drug issues, which came out of his time on the gay partying scene in London. And in Brighton, he talks to Tom an English student who is struggling with bulimia – purging up to 6 times a day. It’s the pressure of looking a certain way, and being a certain weight- a situation Tom frankly says he can’t see himself getting out of.
There are positives on show too – self-help groups and diversity sessions in schools, a men-only eating disorder group, the only one of its kind, and a Big Gay Mental Health event at London club The Glory.
But as Olly concludes: “nothing will happen unless we talk about this “.
Growing Up Gay is on BBC3 on the iplayer here
Olly constantly has his heart not on his sleeve but on full display and there are times in this hour that he simply breaks down in front of the camera being reminded of his past traumas or seeing them replicated in other youngsters he meets.
The statistics behind every single troubled life are staggering – much higher levels of mental illness, drug issues and self -harm among the young LGBTQ+ community. Poignant is the moment Olly re-reads his teenage daily diary : “ I will not eat cake,,,,I will not eat cake… I will not throw up again”. It’s difficult to watch. And he is shocked to see how low he was. He tells us that at 16 he felt “ a freak…different : I just wished to be normal like everyone else “.
There’s a full-on encounter with his wonderful mum, where he tells her the full extent of his depression and self-harm. Her reaction is to blame herself and wished she could have helped more. It’s a deeply personal moment, among many more in this film.
He meets his life-long school friend Georgia and she too admits self-harming and depression – only just recently having come out. Olly recounts the school bullying – half of LGBTQ+ teenagers have been bullied at school. And he says how this bullying leads to a spiral of feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and a sense of unfairness. Two-thirds of LGBTQ+ teens will have self-harmed and many will have tried suicide.
There are positives on show too – self-help groups and diversity sessions in schools , a men-only eating disorder group, the only one of its kind, and a Big Gay Mental Health event at London club The Glory.
But as Olly concludes : “nothing will happen unless we talk about this “.
Growing Up Gay is on BBC3 on the iplayer here