Actor Elliot Page has revealed that making Close to You, his first feature film since publicly coming out as trans, was “one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.”
In the film, which was fully improvised, Page plays Sam, a transgender man who returns home to visit his family for the first time since his transition. During his trip, Sam also runs into Katherine, played by Hillary Baack, a friend from high school with whom he was in love.
Page, who came out as trans in a powerful social media post in December 2020, said during a video interview that he didn’t plan for his return to film to be something so personal.
On Close to You, Page said: “Of course, there’s moments where it’s intense and emotional and all those things. But for me, it was mostly actually just such a joy to create in this way, and the moments that were challenging and emotional were also cathartic and healing in many ways. It was really one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.”
The actor said he likely wouldn’t have been able to take on a similar project before coming out as trans.
“To work in this way, to be on a set and to be completely open and present and comfortable and have a solid foundation to exist in a place, to be able to improvise, to be able to disappear, to be able to really feel like you’re existing as the character in those spaces, it just actually wouldn’t have been possible before,” Page said.
“I kind of sensed that from the moment we started doing it, which I’d say made the process even just like extra exhilarating and exciting for me, just the sensation of waking up every day and being so stoked to go to set. It’s just, I didn’t have that level of comfort and solid foundation and ability to be present before, and I don’t think it would have been possible or enjoyable for me before.”
There are a variety of moments in the film between Sam and his parents that Page said were poignant for him, but he said one of the most powerful is a scene where Sam is lying in bed with Katherine.
“Hillary slayed me with a line, and when she just said, ‘I’m so proud of you, just how far you’ve come and everything you’re going to continue doing,’” Page recalled. “It actually floored me, because I did feel like it was a little bit, maybe, Hillary talking to Elliot, and it was also, of course, Katherine talking to Sam, and so much just what Sam wanted to hear. And he went home to his family, which are loving, they’re accepting, they’re all these things, but they still just can’t fully see him.”
Sam’s family has their own projections and expectations of what will make him happy, “and then to have this person who he loves to say, ‘I really see how far you’ve come and all these incredible places you’re about to go.’ It just gutted me. So I’ll never forget that.”