Trans Bear Diaries: Calling My Deadname Home
by Avi Ben-Zeev
Review Eric Page
Avi Ben-Zeev’s Trans Bear Diaries: Calling My Deadname Home is a striking memoir that journeys beyond the boundaries of traditional gender narratives. Rather than recounting a linear transition, Ben-Zeev tackles the complex and painful task of reconciling his present self with the echoes of his past. His “deadname,” Talia, refuses to be forgotten, and in this memoir, Ben-Zeev embraces her as part of the man he’s becoming, capturing an authenticity that’s both raw and profoundly moving.
Structured into three powerful episodes—early transition, later transition, and Talia’s story—the memoir explores the intensity and the vulnerability that comes with becoming one’s true self. From growing up in a conservative, working-class Israeli family, facing poor academic prospects, to defying expectations by obtaining a PhD from Yale, Ben-Zeev’s narrative unfolds with clarity and resilience. His journey is as much about external accomplishments as it is about the inner work of self-acceptance, and his transformation is told with brutal honesty, humor, and compassion.
Ben-Zeev’s narrative dives into issues that resonate beyond gender, swirling around class, politics, and identity. His experiences, including pro-Palestinian activism and faking mental illness to escape compulsory military service, showcase the resilience needed to navigate social and political landscapes that often feel hostile to one’s very existence. Through his story, Ben-Zeev interrogates complex cultural and gender norms and offers a fresh perspective on what it means to navigate these realms as a trans man in an evolving world.
At its core, Trans Bear Diaries is a meditation on what it means to “come home” to oneself. Rather than rejecting or severing ties with his past, Ben-Zeev brings Talia into his story, bridging her memories and struggles with his current identity. This process of integration speaks to the universal journey of self-discovery and acceptance, reminding readers that sometimes true wholeness comes from embracing, rather than erasing, all facets of our identity.
Avi Ben-Zeev’s memoir is a powerful testament to the strength it takes to integrate our past into our present and build a future that honors the fullness of who we are. His journey reminds us that to fully embody our truth, we must first make peace with every chapter of our story—even the ones we may wish to leave behind.
Out 14th Nov £9.99 Paperback
For more info or to order see the publisher’s website here
You must be logged in to post a comment.