On Safari with Jaq Bayles

Camping; where you can be at one with nature. The stars your blanket, the soft night sounds your comforter. Until that inevitable moment, usually at around 3am, when you wake up needing the loo. Hate that moment – scrabbling for shoes, hunting for the tent zip, crawling outside into the cold air to do what needs to be done… But good news all – I have found a cure for that moment. It’s called camping in the Serengeti. Trust me, when you’re surrounded by lions, elephants, leopards, hyenas and every other denizen of Africa David Attenborough has ever introduced you to, your bladder control becomes strangely super-efficient.

When we booked our seven-day Tanzania Wildlife Experience I was labouring under the impression that we would be staying in fenced enclosures guarded by armed gamekeepers. There were no fences. We were told by our guide that there would be a couple of blokes with guns – but he then added that “they’d probably be asleep”. So far, so terrifying. But by then we were in Arusha and it was too late to back out.

To be fair, day one was pretty luxurious as camping in the wild goes. We were heading to the Serengeti via Lake Manyara National Park, and the night stop there actually had some proper brick cottages. Not for us, though. Canvas all the way…

The day brought our first wildlife encounters from the seven-seater pop-up roof truck that was our transport for the five days of safari. Heading into the reserve we were greeted by flocks of storks bouncing in the upper branches of the tree, scores of baboons – mothers with babies, big old males scratching their bits by the roadside – blue vervet monkeys then, rounding a corner, we came literally face to face with a family of five elephants, so close we could have reached out and touched them. Zebras, giraffes, wildebeests all congregated around the lake, sadly depleted by the lack of rain, but flocks of flamingoes still fringed its boundaries and hippos wallowed in the shallows. The park area is lush and green and seemed enormous – until we reached the edges of the Serengeti the following day via the rim of the Ngorongoro Crater, a volcano that would have been the size of Mount Kilimanjaro when it was live.

There are hardly words to describe the vastness of the Serengeti, that great, flat savanna which annually sees the migration of wildebeest and zebra heading in great lines as far as the eye can see towards the Masai Mara. Barely had we crossed the conservation line when we spotted two male lions basking on rocks in the 37° heat. Our driver got us within 20ft of the animals which graced us once or twice by raising their heads to pose for the cameras before returning to do what male lions do best – snooze.

Heading to base camp the massive vista of the plain was awash with Hart beasts, ostriches, water buffalo, giraffes, zebras and gazelles. Then came the heart-stopping moment our road (the ‘roads’, by the way, are little more than tracks in the grassland, or, where water is nearby, giant grooves carved out by the four-wheel drives transporting adventurers daily) was blocked by a herd of elephants, one of which took umbrage at our being there, raised its trunk in the air and charged. “We’re all going to die,” I thought. “Jaq, are you videoing this?” asked my partner. It turned out to be a mock charge, but it set off a smaller elephant that chased us as we took off. Welcome to the wild.

I can’t say I slept well that night. The unidentifiable snuffling noises outside the tent by my head were disconcerting to say the least and the howls of the hyenas as they raided the bins by the kitchens weren’t exactly comforting either. All part of the thrill though, eh?

Over the next three days we saw sights I could never have imagined I would ever experience first hand. Two lions mating, a crocodile dragging a zebra leg through the water, a lioness with two four-week-old cubs, a leopard sleeping on a tree branch, dozens of hippos crammed into a wide pool of water, jackals in a face-off with a lion (really, another lion? We were so over them by now!). But the day we left the Serengeti for the Ngorongoro Crater was the day it all really kicked off.

Naively, I hadn’t realised that the reason many people go on safari is to see a kill – and plenty are prepared to pay what it takes for the privilege. Now, I refuse to watch wildlife programmes on the grounds I don’t want to see creatures getting killed. But as we reached a zebra watering hole the lioness we had seen with the young cubs began stalking the herd through the trucks that had amassed, the word having gone out on the radio that she was on the hunt. Then suddenly she took off in a cloud of dust, the zebras scattered, screaming, in all directions, but when the dust cleared the lioness had a zebra on the ground, her jaws around its throat. There was no blood. It was strangely humane. But, as we learned from The Lion King, the circle of life goes on, and, leaving the lioness dragging the carcass to her cubs, we saw a new-born zebra struggling to its feet, still black (the stripes take a while to appear) and not five minutes later we were watching a wildebeest giving birth under an acacia tree.

Our last stop, camping on the Crater rim, was the most dangerous. All traces of anything that might vaguely be considered to be food had to be removed from our tents – even toothpaste – as the wild pigs will apparently stop at nothing. Not scarey enough? As we tucked down for the night we watched a herd of elephants heading into the camp to drink from the water tanks in the toilets. Sweet dreams all.

There isn’t room here to describe all the wonders of the Serengeti and the Crater (where we spotted the last of our Big Five, a rhino) but if wildlife is your bag, I can’t recommend a safari highly enough. But if you’re a feint-hearted camper and you have the cash, opt for the cabins, not the canvass.

Tips:
• We flew into Nairobi and travelled by bus to Arusha. As you are crossing borders you need visas (not cheap) for both Kenya and Tanzania and the check points are ruthless. Also, the drivers in Nairobi are nuts!
• Your diptheria, typhoid and polio jabs need to be up to date and you will need a yellow fever jab with certificate as well.
• There are many safari groups to choose from but be warned – we saw plenty of trucks broken down in the middle of the Serengeti and you don’t want to be changing a tyre or fixing a fan belt in that heat or with that many teeth around.
• We went with G Adventures (formerly Gap Adventures), gadventures.com. We had a dedicated driver and a constant guide and there were only seven of us in the truck. Others had up to 12 passengers. All meals were also provided and every diet was catered for. (The wildlife approved of the food – an eagle actually snatched a sandwich from one of our number’s hand on the Crater rim.)

When to go:
Everyone considers October to be the month to see the migration but it is a year-round event. We went in early February, which is the calving season for zebras and wildebeest so best for seeing newborns aplenty.